Quick Birth Story & Pics

I have sat down so many times to write, and haven’t found the words I’ve wanted to say.

I complained, was stuck in bed more days than I’d like to count, had numerous headaches, needed to be a close jog to the toilet at all times, felt limited to board games and Disney movies with the kids, and was on edge for 9 months.

Most of the time I missed nighttime stories with the kids and the guilt was horrible.

If I was in the room, I’d let dad read and I’d look up at the ceiling praying the nausea would go away for 5 minutes so I could love on the kids.

I knew that life would be easier on my body when she was born, but I really wanted my kids to enjoy mom time that they’d miss out on when a newborn came.

When the contractions started we left for the hospital.

The back pain was rough and it was harder trying to concentrate on the mommy questions being thrown at me that morning.

My doctor was on call that morning and told them to admit me.

If I didn’t progress, she’d help the process along, which made me nervous.

The fluids were hooked up, I got the epidural and I progressed on my own.

Mr. J and I joked that maybe she’d have brown hair.

I pushed for 15 minutes and cried when she came out.

We also laughed because she did have brown hair.

I can’t love her anymore than I do.

Isn’t it funny how easily you forget and how empowered you feel?

I’ve taken my time. I’ve held her all of the time. I know that is breaking all rules for starting a routine, but I can’t help it. I haven’t been as stressed. I’m not second guessing myself as much. I don’t take it personal if she cries. I know she must be trying to tell me something, whether it be to change her diaper, feed her, or maybe give her some space. I’m not ready for her to go to size 1 diapers. Her laughs, coos, and smiles melt my heart. I’m proud when the laundry gets done and even prouder when I make a new meal. She is getting kissed by brother and sister probably more than she’d like, but she knows we are all crazy about her. I’m ok with taking big brother to soccer in my sweats because that means all the kids have had baths that morning, have been fed, and taken care of. I’m finding less and less me time and more of them time. I didn’t think I’d find as much fulfillment as I have in each day. I’m the “mommy girl” and I’m needed for homework help, potty help, and everything baby related. I love feeling and knowing that I’m needed.