Can I have some anxiety with that motherhood please?

Wouldn’t it be so nice to pick and choose what we wanted to come with Motherhood?!
Oh, I’d love extra kisses and snuggle time, but can you go easy on the tantrums and the tattle-tails?

I’d really appreciate double patience, understanding, nice voices and a baby who sleeps through the night no later than 4 weeks.

Give me playground dates where no one gets hurt,

 a bath tub that never produces bumps,

 a doctor’s appointment where we leave with stickers for baby and 100% for mommy,

an outing where they are all friends and not left out,

a classroom to grow and use their minds with teachers that encourage,

and I’d love to help pick their buddies.

I’d make sure they were as loyal and as fabulous as Buzz and Woody!

Please hold the anxiety…

Wait, anxiety is part of it all.

I’m not sure how many times I checked my email,

refreshed my facebook page,

or read a Parents magazine.

Except the pages looked blank and my blackberry screen was blurry as I anxiously waited for the Doctor to come tell me how cowboy’s surgery went.
I replied with a grateful attitude to the many texts that said,
“We are praying for him,”

and

“Let us know when he gets out.”

When cowboy was a baby he would tilt his head up towards us.

It almost looked like a smirk and since his parents happen to be a tad sarcastic,

we were sure he was smirking at us.

It came to be his signature look.

Cute right?

We thought it was until we found out he had a strabismus.

He would tilt and his superior oblique muscle would pull his eye in towards his nose making him occasionally look crosseyed.

Only fix: surgery, at the hospital, handing over your everything to a nurse and watching her go past the double doors.

Check up appointments from 2 years old to 4 years old went well, up until last week when they asked to operate again…on both eyes.

He can see exceptionally well, it’s just that ridiculous tilting & slightly twisted images!

This time the anxiety was almost overwhelming.

Putting a 4 year old out and operating on the things which allow him the blessing of sight almost put me under!

The recovery hour was horrible and we cried together.

Him in pain from IV’s and me frustrated I couldn’t fix it.

I usually can fix anything with a kiss and if needed a little Tylenol!

So here’s the reason we’ve been a little MIA.

There’s been a lot of cuddling, watching movies, and enjoying the down time.

{plus we are moving this week, when it rains it pours!}

Love at 18 months prior to 1st surgery

Total stud at 4 years before 2nd surgery

“Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle.”-President Thomas S Monson

*Stay tuned for an awesome giveaway…it may or may not be coming tomorrow*